We sometimes believe we are clever or practicing tough love when we say “I love you, but…”
But the problem is, most people only hear the “but”.
The phrase, in fact, is a practice in control and manipulation, a poor substitute for directly addressing an issue. It makes full Love conditional on a set of prescribed behaviors and actions. With this phrase, so many children (and adults) have set out on an impossible search to find the correct way to be wholly and totally Loved.
Let’s just keep it simple. Let’s just say we Love without boundaries and conditions. Then separate out what needs to be communicated and be clear with those communications. Love is never anything but whole, complete, and unconditional.